the air

If you visit my archives, you may notice that some of my posts surreptitiously describe or mention events that have changed my life drastically. These events have moved me to take a step back and look at my life from a different perspective. Depending on how you perceive it, these events may be unfortunate or a blessing in disguise, I will let you be the judge. It has taken many months of tears and questions to come to terms of where my life is now. Even today, the scars cause me to flinch and remember the dark times, but a quick glance around shows me that I have no reason to stay in the dark any longer. This is my story of those times and events that caused me great pain and shaped me into the man I am today.

A Lone Sail In A Vast Sea

I graduated from high school in the spring of 2000 and have been enrolled in an institution of higher learning since. When I graduated, I was proud to be attending Purdue University, one of the nation’s premier universities. I was going to study Electrical Engineering, but deep down, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to study. I spent the first several weeks of the fall semester at Purdue crying because I was homesick and did not have very many friends. In high school, I knew so many people that when I had to eat lunch, there was always someone I could sit next to. In college, I had to make new friends, which I failed to do miserably initially so I had to eat alone for many days, probably weeks. It was a pretty rough time, but little did I realize that this was just the beginning of a journey that would span almost an entire decade.

The Plot Thickens

As I progressed in my field of study, I was retaking classes every semester because I was simply not good at any of my classes. In retrospect, it was not that I did not have the talent to be an excellent electrical engineer. In fact, the root of my issues was the lack of passion I had for the field. I remember that before I was accepted into the College of Electrical and Computer Engineering, I had considered other majors and fell in love with Industrial Engineering. My father, who has been both a pivotal role-model in my life as well as a thorn in my ass, forbade me from studying anything other than Electrical Engineering. His reasoning was that Electrical Engineering provided me with the best opportunity to have a stable career and was a well-paying field. My argument was that I should study something that I am passionate about, something that drives me to go beyond what my limits are. To this day, I still believe in that statement. Unfortunately, for some reason, I lacked the courage to defy my father and pursue another field of study. Rather, I worked up the strength to continue battling the relentless onslaught of poor grades and poor performances.

Some may argue that it would have been prudent of me to simply switch majors without informing my dad or just duke it out and do the best I can. However, I must digress with those persons. First, I had too great of a respect for my father to simply shun his words and go about my own career path in the way I saw fit. What if my desire was disillusioned and full of pitfalls? Second, I do not agree with anyone who says that you have to live with what you got. If I am not passionate about something, I will not pursue it. Why should I? If I am limited by something, why shouldn’t I find ways to break that limit or raise the limit? There is no reason why I should not simply accept something but at the same time, balancing respect and poor grades is no easy task. Due to the path I chose, I was always walking a fine line between being a student in good standing versus a student on probation.

The Pain Part I

My progression down this destructive path ultimately culminated in one of the most painful events I have had to endure. In December of 2004, I was working at GAP part-time for winter vacation. A friend of mine called and said that grades were released and he had just barely passed one of the most toughest classes at Purdue. I asked him to check my grades and he reluctantly told me that I had received two F’s, forcing Purdue to put me on scholastic drop for one semester. I stood there frozen and could not believe what I had just heard. I could see my life shattering around me as I fell to my knees in total shock.

Once the new year had begun, I visited the Dean of Students to inquire about my future plans and what I can do. He, Rob Mate was his name, advised me that I can reapply for admission for the Fall 2005 semester provided that I spend my current time pursuing academic courses at another institution and successfully pass those courses. He also mentioned that I had very good chances of being re-admitted because this was my first serious offense and that this was something very common amongst students. So I went about my life and took the courses I knew would transfer. How did my father take this news? He was actually quite supportive and calmly asked what I wanted to do in my life. I told him that my passion lied with Industrial Engineering and that he should support me in my path, wherever it may lead. He agreed and gave me his blessings.

Stumbling Back To A World That Threw Me Out

I applied for re-admission in late Spring 2005 and my request was granted by July 2005. At this point, I thought that everything was going very well for me. I was finally in the driver’s seat of my field of study and I was now pursuing a passion that I had long yearned for. With the support of some close friends and my parents’ blessings, I returned triumphantly to Purdue to finish what I had started a few years back. This time around, I had the determination to complete my degree and would stop at nothing to ensure that I succeed. Or so I thought.

Throughout the Fall 2005 semester I worked my ass off to ensure that all of my work was complete and that I was actually learning material rather than memorizing it. All that effort paid off in chunks as I was now seeing a positive trend in grades and passing classes with high marks. As the last round of midterms rolled in, that is when things took a turn for the worst. I ended up failing most of my midterms due to spending countless hours on projects and not having enough time to study for exams. This trend did start when the second round of midterms were in progress, but I managed to escape unscathed. Surprisingly, my poor performance on the third round of exams pushed me into a hole that was very deep.

The Pain Part II

I did not let my poor performance on the last round of exams to hamper my efforts to improve and move forward. At this point though, it appears to me, in hindsight, that I had fallen on some hard times and that I was forcing myself to move on rather than believing in myself. Ultimately, my finals went ok, but not enough to save me from what was about to happen in just a week after grades were released. I eagerly checked my grades and noticed that for two of my classes, my grades were F’s. I, immediately called my professors and argued about the grades. They admitted that I deserved a better grade and changed the grades accordingly. However, the damage was done and Purdue had deemed that my overall semester GPA was not sufficiently satisfying their minimum standard. Like the year before, I was kicked out of the university, this time for a year. At this point, Rob Mate, my Dean, told me that it would be much tougher for me to come back to Purdue and advised me to pursue an academic career at another institution. My father fought a great deal to have me re-instated, even threatening the university to take this matter to court. After some careful discussions, my father and I came to the conclusion that it was no longer in my best interests to stay at Purdue and that some “dark forces” would make sure that I never succeed at that school. And so once again, I was heartbroken.

Lessons Are Everywhere, We Just Have To Find Them

When I was first dropped from the university, I had an idea of what I can do and how I could go about doing it. In other words, I had a game plan that I knew would work. The second time around, I had no idea where my life was headed. I had no clue what to do. I remember, very clearly, that I spent many nights looking for places that I could live once my father kicked me out of the house. I was even contemplating suicide as a solution to my problems and to save my parents the trouble of knowing that their child was a failure. In fact, I came so close to taking my own life that I drew blood just as some force came knocking on my head and told me to stop. My dad did not kick me out of the house and he did not force me to do something. He told me to seriously think about what I wanted to do with my life and to simply go and get it and get a damn degree so that I can get a job. For the first time, I felt like listening to my dad and believing in what he said.

My dad helped me emotionally to become a stronger man and rise up to the new challenges that lay ahead. He told me to stay focused and discover within that energy that Purdue blew away. I started to rebuild my inner confidence, piece by piece. I spent countless hours asking myself what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to go. This journey of self-discovery taught me more about myself and unlocked within me a new passion and a new vision.

A Chapter Ends And A New Chapter Begins

Since it was no longer an option to re-apply at Purdue, I did the next best thing, transfer to another university. I went to University of Illinois at Chicago to see if they would accept me. After looking at my transcripts, they literally laughed and told me no. For the first time, I was ridiculed by someone in academia and laughed at for being a poor student. I cried because it was the only thing I was good at. So I went with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat to Northern Illinois University. I had no hope from them either and I was prepared to be laughed at again. When I showed them my papers, they simply said that they want me to start immediately and that I was now a Huskie. Dr. T, the associate dean - his real name is complex, told me that whatever happened in the past should stay there. He said that my past is no longer a concern and that what I do know will define me and my future. Even the admissions counselor encouraged me to stay strong and forget the past. He also told me that whatever mistakes I made, I should learn from them and ensure that I do not make the same mistakes here. These kinds words gave me hope and a new life to look after.

The Rest Is Now As The Future Is Made

So where am I now? I have a 3.8 cumulative GPA at Northern Illinois University in the College of Engineering and Technology. I am pursuing my passion for Industrial Engineering and am ranked as one of the top students in the entire department as well as the University. I have already had a paper published at the national level and am on target for a bachelor’s by May 2008. This is where my life is now a blossoming rose. I am enjoying every minute of it and am thanking all those who have played a positive role with every breath. I am no longer upset with the past at Purdue because those events transpired to help me find the inner light that I proudly hold above my head now. I could not ask for anything more because life is beautiful and is teaching me everyday how to live it to the fullest. Obviously, I can thank any person who played a role in my life turning around; however, I want to only extend a gracious thanks to God. Without God’s advice, I could not survive today.

I am finally free of my past and I hope now you may understand that my life has not been easy. What you have just read is a quick snapshot of the pain that I endured. Telling this story has helped lift the last remaining burden on my chest. I can now continue my journey looking to future and sailing away from the dark storms that almost stopped me.

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It’s that time of year now where I have to decide whether to stick to my current wireless carrier or migrate to another carrier. Currently, I am with Cingular, now known as AT&T, and I am pleased with the service so far. However, I am not thrilled with the amount of money I am spending with them every month. Here’s a breakdown of my current plan:

• Family Plan 700 for $69.99 with two phone lines
• Plan includes 700 minutes with Rollover
• $9.99 for an additional line
• $9.99 for 400 text/video/picture messaging with 1 MB internet
• $14.99 for 1000 text/video/picture messaging with 5 MB internet and unlimited messaging to any Cingular customer

If you add up the costs, I am paying about $105 before taxes and close to $130 after all applicable taxes and fees. So what exactly do I use my phone for? Let’s break it down:

• Calls!
• Browsing web
• Texting
• Photos & Video

As you can see, I use my phone for very popular reasons. I don’t text as much, roughly 100 per month. Alternatively, I tend to use the internet quite a bit on my cell phone to check email, weather, traffic reports, news, and killing time. Not surprisingly, Cingular’s measly 1 MB internet plan is not enough and I can easily see the 5 MB option being too small and pricey at the same time. To balance out the high prices, Cingular does offer exceptional coverage in numerous places. So my next question would be who offers the best coverage?

Both Verizon and Cingular boast large coverage areas and either one works for me since I tend to stick to mostly metropolitan areas. However, I am not really interested in CDMA/TDMA technologies since I already have an unlocked GSM phone. In fact, my mom and brother also have unlocked GSM phones so we have no need to purchase new phones when selecting a new carrier. Hence, it is our desire to stick with a carrier that relies on GSM technology. Since my brother and I are the only ones who use the internet on our phones, we don’t really need high speed internet since the current EDGE speeds are quire reliable and satisfactory. Knowing all that, we can eliminate Verizon, Sprint-Nextel, and any other CDMA/TDMA carrier.

My only choices now are to either migrate to T-Mobile or remain with Cingular. I have had experience with both carriers now, but it has been two years since being with T-Mobile. I am not willing to sign a two-year contract. So who do I go with? I live in the Chicago-land area, so those of you who have experience with T-mobile in the area, can you tell me your thoughs? And what about all of you in general, what are your opinions about Cingular and T-mobile? In fact, do you think I should skip both and go to Verizon or Sprint and why? Help a college student out and help me save tons of money on my wireless service.

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If you have been following my blog, you will recall that I have achieved many milestones this past semester at Northern Illinois University. My achievements include:

• $1000 USOAR scholarship
• $1000 Max Zar academic scholarship
• Dean’s List Spring 2007
• 3.80 cumulative GPA

For many students, that is a remarkable achievement. I remember a time when I used to dream about such accomplishments and I am now living that dream. However, those of you who know me also know that I am not overly enthusiastic about my success. It is not that I am not proud or happy about all of the success, but much of my inhibitions lie in the fact that I know what it is like fail consistently.

Just two years ago, I was living in one of my worst nightmares possible. My grades were suffering and I had received several warnings from my university to improve my grades or face further severe consequences. With such a dark cloud hanging over my head, I set about improving my personality and approach to life. I also taught myself how to study more efficiently and effectively that would yield measurable results. From most point of views, I was on the course to great success since I had remedied the shortcomings that were impeding my progress. However, little did I know that this was not the exact root of my problems.

My problems arose from the fact that I was in a major that did not spark my interest nor my passion. Hence, once I switched to Industrial Engineering, I quickly found a new drive and a new passion to do well. In fact, all of my techniques that I learned were producing the results I expected. In the end, the results of my effective work are listed above. And to be honest, I am very happy with where I am.

Learn to be humble

Perhaps the biggest thing I learned from all my troubles and happiness is the need to be humble about my successes. My father told me that arrogance is the number one way to fall down and never be able to get back up. Many people rejoice in their accomplishments and are quick to shun those who were not able to realize their own successes. However, I encourage all of them to never forget that they too at one point did not have success. In my opinion, you never gain anything of quality and respect through arrogance. Humble does not mean you have to let others belittle you, but it does mean holding back words of excessive pride and arrogance.

Never forget where you came from

One of my favorite personal lessons learned is the fact that you should never forget where you came from. When I had nothing, I dreamed of achieving so much. Today, I am enjoying a great academic career but I never forget those dark times. I make it a personal mission of mine to help those who are struggling and are dreaming of the life that I currently live in. I never let my success get to my head because if I did, I would fall victim to the arrogance disease. I never flout my success upon others nor do I speak of my achievements with great pride. Rather, I leave all the glory to others while I treasure my success alone. I let others speak highly of me and I always keep myself grounded. Again, there is no harm in keeping the joys of success on a tight leash.

Enjoy success but keep on tweaking your winning formula

Now that I got all that mature stuff out of the way, enjoy your success. If you want to throw yourself a party, go for it. If you want to go and travel, go for it. Just go and do what you want to do and dedicate it to your success. There is no harm in doing that because we all deserve a little “fun” time. However, just because you know what worked for you doesn’t mean you should keep relying on it. The golden rule of the game is to continually modify your winning formula to ensure that it is adaptable to the changing environment. By doing so, you will ensure that your success will continue and any failures along the way will serve as tools to ensure your formula is on the right track.

So now that you read all that, what do you think? How do you view your achievements or failures? I would like to learn from you how your perceived thoughts and ideas are helping you cope with your own life.

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I’ve come across many students over the past few years who are too proud to ask for help. In fact, I too have been proud at times to ask my friends for assistance with courses, life, or other matters. The main reason for this behavior is that many of us strongly believe that we should do things on our own and by being helped, we feel inferior or inadequate. However, my experience has shown me that asking for help, when you need it even a little bit, can go a long way and help facilitate matters much more quickly.

Jennifer over at Broke-Ass Student has a great post about networking and giving. It is essential for any successful person to network effectively and be magnanimous with their peers. I want to expand on what she has written by suggesting that asking for help does not make you weak.

None of us would be here today without some help from others. For many of us, our parents have played an integral role in ensuring that we have and learn all the tools required to realize success. In addition to our parents, our teachers have also played a pivotal role by reinforcing some of the values our parents taught as well as new values and knowledge. So in a way, we have been helped since the beginning. Then why do we still refuse to seek out help when we absolutely need it?

Would you rather suffer now or later? Say you have a need to find an apartment in an unfamiliar city but you do know a good friend who lives in that very city. Wouldn’t it be logical for you to simply ask your friend if he/she can help you find an apartment? The worst they can answer is say no to you. However, if he/she say yes, then you can rest assured knowing that someone can help you find an apartment in an unfamiliar city. I had a friend who was moving to my area and was in need of housing. Rather than ask me for help, he simply went about searching by himself. To his dismay, he had to take a few days off from his new job just to go apartment hunting and he ended up finding an apartment that was way overpriced and offered little incentives. In the end, he hated his apartment and regret the missed opportunity to ask me for some minor help.

Those who offer help are a rare breed!I cannot stress how important it is for anyone to recognize those helpful souls who consistently offer to help before you even ask them for help. Some of my friends get annoyed by me when I offer to help them, but they always fail to realize that my assistance is very unique because I never ask for anything in return. In fact, most of my friends now take me up on my offer of help and are extremely thankful. Sadly, I have to be more selective when I offer my help, otherwise it gets out of hand. You should not feel that you are taking advantage of someone if you accept their offer or ask them for help because that illicit thought should not exist between genuine friends.

By asking for help or accepting help, you will expand your network base as well. Help does not necessarily have to come from friends either. If you need assistance, be smart and accept it. Arrogance and foolishness will only lead to more problems and cause you further discomfort with the situation. I learned this lesson in a very hard way, but in the end, I was taught that asking for help is definitely a positive thing because the only worst case scenario is someone refusing to help me. In that case, all I had/have to do is simply ask someone else. So don’t be shy and go get help when you need it.

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Almost every college student knows about Wikipedia. In fact, Wikipedia is probably the first place any student visits to learn more about their research topic or even use in their research. However, most instructors frown upon Wikipedia because of one major flaw. The credibility of the persons who edited the page on Wikipedia cannot be ascertained nor verified. Hence, how can you claim that the information on Wikipedia is authoritative? It is my belief that Wikipedia can still be used and be your best friend, if you are smart about it.

Wikipedia is a great place to start

One of the things you must remember is that Wikipedia is a great place to start your research but not the whole story. Even I use Wikipedia to begin my research and I regularly refer to it throughout this blog. In my opinion, a world without Wikipedia would just plain suck; the same goes for a world without Google. The main difference between the Encyclopedia Britannica and Wikipedia is that the former uses authoritative sources and authors and is widely regarded as the de facto standard. Wikipedia, alternatively, is a community driven effort in which users like you and me have the power to edit, add, and delete information as we see fit. Hence, it is possible that the information on Wikipedia is doctored or untrue.

Pay close attention to the very bottom of any Wikipedia article

At the bottom of almost all Wikipedia articles is a “Notes” section. This is where authors cite their sources, if possible. Some articles will have extensive notes (see the image below) while others will have little to no sources. Depending on the topic you are researching, you may hit the jackpot for external sources or you’ll miss out.

The sources you see listed above are for the article pertaining to Julius Caesar. As you can see, there are over 20 sources - in fact the article has almost 60 sources. Before you claim that these are just endnotes, you have to understand that these are the places where authors made direct quotes or paraphrases and are crediting where they got the information from. It is your responsibility during your research to go ahead and learn more about these sources. If you deem the source credible, feel free to include it in your research. If you scroll further down on the article, you’ll see a “references” section. You can use the information here to also find more credible information.

Use your gut instinct and common sense

Sometimes the information will come from hobby sites or personal websites. Always remember to exercise common sense and good judgment. If you cannot verify a site’s credibility (e.g. you cannot tell if it is a personal website or a credible site) then exercise caution when using it. The external links that you see within a Wikipedia article are the links you should follow to find more information and determine credibility. However, always make sure that the information you cite comes from a credible source for any research assignment.

What if you don’t know what to do or no sources are listed

If you find that the Wikipedia article you are interested in does not have any sources, external links, no credible sources, or not enough, use Google. Google is an excellent search engine and can help you find the information you are looking for if you are patient. If you are in a hurry or are completely lost, email or contact your instructor. Although your instructors may seem clueless at times, they can point you in the right directions to help you find the information you are looking for. More often than not, they will tell you to visit the campus library and peruse the extensive databases that your school has access to. Just remember, the information you seek is out there, you just need to be patient and look for it.

How do you start your research? What are some tips you can share with a fellow college student? I would love to hear what your thoughts are.

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